Sometimes I crack myself up.

The knee-smacking, guttural howling, eyes-watering kind of laughter.  The moments where you have to hold on to the chair you are sitting in for fear you will fall flat on your face.  Usually, in my accident-prone case, that very fear manifests itself in some sort of laughter-induced truth.  I often end up hobbling away bruised, still laughing, of course.

I just re-read my last blog post.  The one from May 2015.  The time when I declared to the world that my “voice” was back and I was no longer reticent.  I wrote a whole post about not being silent but didn’t actually say anything.

<Insert face hitting floor.>

It’s a talent, folks. Apparently, I am a champion of equivocalness.  So much so, in fact, that it took me a year to un-dupe myself.

Well, the unintentional jig is up.


In all seriousness.  All laughter set aside.  I stopped writing, really writing, when Aiden’s dad and I decided to divorce.

It’s strange how writing about my child having cancer seemed easier than writing about my marriage coming to an end.  I had been so open to the world about the medical struggles we endured.  I advocated for pediatric cancer research, I shared storied of other warriors, survivors and angels, yet I could not talk about my life outside of cancer.  It did boil down to respect.  For privacy, for each other and for healing.

It’s been well over a year.  Aiden’s dad and I are in good places, separately.  Aiden is thriving and, individually, so are we. We talk. We “co-family.”  We know that life is too short and that regret, resentment and dismay are harmful.  We choose independent growth.  We choose unconventionalness and we choose to ignore judgement. Please respect our choices.

With that being said, we are human and we do get pissed off.  My blog about personal growth will not showcase anything of that nature. I am ready to begin again. To seek out the good. To shake off the dust that has settled around me and set forth.

I recently told a friend that life is complicated but it’s all about getting back up when you are knocked down.  My struggles do not define me, it’s how I choose to learn, grow and live that makes me the person I am.  I will never feign perfection.  I am a mistake-maker.  We all are, it’s human nature.  The lifeblood exists in the doing.  I am ready to take the reins, be kind to myself and experience the world around me not only as Aiden’s mom, but as Leslie.


Okay, so now you know the skinny.  With blessings from my family and the words written in this very blog, I declare my writers-blockage gone.  I am ready to start adventuring, to laugh again, to learn new things, meet new people and reconnect with my tribe.

Post-laughter ice packs are on standby.

Let’s do this…